The Third Floor

So, I’m making my way up the back stairwell. Gotta’ think, so I don’t want to run into anyone. What does Ted want? Bobby was right: Ted never talks to me the way he did tonight. I know it’s my sixteenth birthday and it’s special and all, but Ted isn’t normally sentimental. He’s too in control for that; too calculating. He never shows his hand. So, what do I make of this? Sharing information? Working together on everything? It’s unbelievable and scary, because it means that something big has happened; enough to freak out Farmer Ted.

The Third Floor. I know I already talked about it a little, but I don’t remember if I explained how incredible it is. The bar’s in the center of the room — a perfect circle — lined with red velvet upholstered stools.  Surrounding it, making an even bigger circle, is the dance floor. The DJ — I think it’s Rico T. tonight — is up on a riser, off to one side, while on the other, there’s a row of video screens running newsreels, clips from gangster movies, and old rap videos from MTV. Add a huge array of lights and lasers and disco balls, and you’ve got a place with a trippy and political vibe.

I’m lucky. The place is hopping and there’s a pack of Fly Girls on the dance floor: chunky gold earrings; tube tops; hot pants; biker shorts; high tops; the whole deal; grooving out to Schoolly D. “Are we Black Enough For You,” fuckers? Heh.

And there’s Farmer Ted, a drink in one hand, and a fat-assed joint in the other, black Wayfarers and a smile on his face.

As always, Manny’s behind the bar, keeping an eye on things. He looks like the kind of guy who you’d think would’ve been Ted’s worst nightmare back in the day: a macho, hard-talking, fast-punching Italian tough guy. But in the here and now? He’s Ted’s personal bodyguard and most loyal Captain. He also happens to be an Army auxiliary and is a pretty sophisticated dude. Speaks at least three languages other than English — Italian, Portuguese, and Russian, I think —  is a tournament grade chess player and ring-tested Thai boxer. (I’ve seen him do that shit on raids…fucking badass.) He’s one of these people no one knows anything about — anything prior to his coming to the Cult, I mean — and as you’d expect, rumors abound, the most popular being that he’s a rich mobster’s kid and was educated overseas. Frankly, I couldn’t care less. I fucking love him.

Farmer Ted: Ah, Claire, it’s good to have you up here. I can be myself.

Claire: If you were any more yourself, I don’t think I’d know who you were. I was just wondering if you’d been body snatched or something; whether I’d find the real you molting in some alien cocoon somewhere.

Farmer Ted: No molting, Claire, just clarity.  

Claire: Clarity.

Farmer Ted: Clarity.

Claire: About what?

Farmer Ted: I’m not ready to say, just yet. Look, I know I’m being annoying, but humor me a little more, OK? I promise I won’t keep you here all night.

Claire: Are you kidding? This is the best night I can remember. Take as long as you want.

Farmer Ted: That’s the spirit! I knew I liked you. What are you drinking?

Claire: You know, Ted, that’s a good question.

Farmer Ted: I’m full of them. So, drink?

Claire: You’ve got me hooked on the Bombay, Ted. But not with tonic, I think. I want one of Manny’s martinis.

Farmer Ted: Smart girl. Manny! Two Bombay martinis, medium dry, with a twist.

Claire: Yummy.

Farmer Ted: Here, help me with this monster joint.  

Claire: I can do that. Mmm, it’s heavenly. God, that girl on the left riser is gorgeous. She looks Spanish.

Farmer Ted: She is. Guatemalan, I think. I don’t know her. Manny?

Manny: Selena Vasquez. She’s a messenger: brings correspondence to and from the Executive Council. Came over from one of the other cells.

Claire: That’s a dangerous job. Girl must be tough.

Manny: Yeah, she’s got a few scars on her: one across her cheek and another down her back. I don’t want to know how she got them.

Farmer Ted: And how are you so well-acquainted with Selena Vasquez’s back, Manny?

Claire: She’s wearing a backless top, Ted.

Farmer Ted: Oh, right.

Claire: I want to dance with her…channel my inner Rosie Perez.

Farmer Ted: I think I have just the thing. Manny, tell Rico the PE.

Manny: Rico…Manny…Ted wants the PE.

Claire: PE?

Farmer Ted: Wait for it.

Chuck D: 1989 the number…another summer…sound of the funky drummer…

Claire: Public Enemy! Fight the Power!

Farmer Ted: I know you love it, baby.

Claire: Okay, I’m doing it. I’ll leave my tape-recorder here on the bar.

Farmer Ted: I was meaning to ask you about that.

Claire: Oh, it’s…well…I’m recording some memoirs.

Farmer Ted: I see. Now, go shake that fine ass of yours.

Claire: Ted!

Farmer Ted: So, here we are. Claire, I know you turned this thing off, but I’ve turned it on again. See, I like the idea of telling you a bunch of stuff and having you listen to it later, when you review these tapes. And it’s easier, too…I can say things without worrying about what you’re going to say back or how you’re going to look at me. Hearing something straight from someone’s mouth and hearing it days or weeks later on a tape…totally different experience, you know?

So where to start? Shit. I’m high and watching you dance with a hot girl. You’re laughing and grinding your ass up against her and she’s running her hands down your legs. Nowhere to start but here, I guess. Confession time. I’m totally hot for you, Claire…in love…bowled over…mooning like a lovesick girl…got it? But I’m not gonna’ do a goddamned thing about it, and you know why? ‘Cause Bobby’s the Man, and I know that you don’t feel the same way about me. That’s why it’s so much easier telling you this way — telling you that I love you on tape — because I don’t have to hear the answer — see the look — that tells me you don’t love me.

I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, Claire. I’m telling you to get it out of the way, because you and I have serious work to do. And if we don’t do it? If we don’t get together and work as a team? I’m afraid we won’t survive the year.

And that brings me to what I want to tell you. But I have to do it in person. On this, I need to see your reaction and hear what you have to say. Because it’s crucial that we understand each other; that we agree about what’s at stake and what needs to be done.

But for right now — for this moment — I’m just gonna’ sit here and watch you and tell you what I see. Let it be my love note to you — the first and last time that I openly revel in you — because from now on, it’s strictly business. Risky business.

Selena’s digging you, Claire. I don’t know the girl; don’t know if she’s for real or seeing a chance for an inside connection and exploiting it; don’t know if she’s a dyke; don’t know a fucking thing. What I do know is that right now she’s hot for you — the way she’s looking at you, shaking her hair in your face, dancing in close — she wants you. And who can blame her? You’re the most beautiful girl in the building. Fuck that, you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole Scene — walking perfection; hair like a mane of fire; emerald eyes; freckles on your nose; and when you add everything that I know — everything that we all know — about your courage, your determination, and your fierce love for each and every one of us…the combination is breathtaking. You’re a goddess, Claire; a beautiful, dangerous, righteous goddess. There, Manny, I said it.

Manny: You sure did, boss.

Farmer Ted: I feel better, you know? Like I can tell her everything now.

Manny: I know it’s been weighing on you.

Farmer Ted: Alright, the song’s winding up and she’s gonna’ be back in a second. Is everything set up in my office?

Manny: Ready and waiting.

Claire: That was fun!

Farmer Ted: It certainly looked like it.

Claire: Oh, this martini tastes good; like liquid ice running down my throat.

Farmer Ted: Manny re-shook it for you.

Claire: You guys are the best.

Farmer Ted: So, you think you’re about ready?

Claire: For?

Farmer Ted: Our conversation.

Claire:  Oh! Yes, of course. Shoot.

Farmer Ted: No, not here, in private.

Claire: Why in private? Ted, is this all some kind of elaborate come on?

Farmer Ted: No, really. It’s just that what I have to say is For Your Ears Only.

Claire:  Of course.  Sorry!  Where do you want to talk?

Farmer Ted: Manny’s prepared my office. We’ll be comfortable in there and it’s soundproof. 

Claire: Lead the way.

Farmer Ted: It’s right here, behind the DJ booth. Rico! Killer grooves tonight, man!

Rico T: Thanks, boss!

Claire: Kudos, Rico! My engines are revving.  

Rico T: It’s my pleasure, Ma’am.

Claire: Ma’am? Who am I? Queen Elizabeth II?

Farmer Ted: Just protocol, Claire. My boys are all trained pretty strictly on that.

Claire: You crack me up, Ted.

Farmer Ted: Here we are.

Claire: Nice digs, Ted! You’ve got some serious hardware in here — sweet stereo system — and I’m loving the Farrah Fawcett posters. Where’d you get ‘em?

Farmer Ted: I have a connection with one of the few remaining used record stores in LA.

Claire: What do you mean a “connection”? With an actual store? In the Overground?

Farmer Ted: Yeah.

Claire: What, one of your Infiltrators burgled the place?

Farmer Ted: Oh, no, I’m friends with the owner.

Claire: Friends with the owner? Are you joking? You trying to get swept? Get all of us swept?

Farmer Ted: Look, this is the kind of thing I was talking about earlier. I know a lot about the Overground — have a lot of contacts — and it’d be a real asset for the Army, don’t you think?

Claire: Uh, ya! If you can trust them. Are you telling me that there are actually sympathizers up there, willing to work with us?

Farmer Ted: Don’t get too excited. These are business relationships, and I can trust them as far as they’re getting something out of it. Everyone’s shady in one way or another, though — some of ‘em are actually Mafia — I mean, that’s how I get shit like the Cristal.

Claire: Jesus.

Farmer Ted: Think about it, Claire. You can’t steal as much stuff as we consume. And there’re more of us every day — you and your Army are doing too good of a job liberating those hell-holes they’ve set up around the Valley — so I’ve had to put feelers out all over the Overground, just to sustain our collective lifestyles.  

Claire: No, it makes perfect sense, and I guess I half knew it; just never gave it much thought.  

Farmer Ted: You need to. The Restoration is weaker than you think. With the way they’ve destroyed the economy? Their phony, moralizing and crazy vice laws? The No-Fun-Ever public health initiatives? A huge underground economy has sprung up, among the adults — black and grey markets all over the place. Seas of drugs and booze and gambling and pornography and prostitution. There are a lot of opportunities up there Claire. But we gotta’ grab ‘em soon, ’cause I’m not sure how long they’ll last.

Claire: Why do you say that? I mean, with those fuckers in charge, things are only gonna’ get worse, right? By your logic, the black markets should thrive; drunken gambling and hookers forever.

Farmer Ted: Well, that brings us to what I wanted to talk to you about. But, first, music. Wu-Tang Clan.

Claire: You mentioned them before. I don’t know their stuff at all.

Farmer Ted: Manny turned me on to them. I don’t know what it is, exactly. The production’s subterranean, like voices from the deep.  The grooves are hypnotic — there are weird instruments mixed in; violins, cellos, organs and shit — and the lyrics are ominous; literary; spiritual… You gotta’ hear ‘em.

Claire: Yeah, ok, but what do they have to do with what you wanted to talk to me about?

Farmer Ted: Well, the ideas came to me while I was listening to them; that and smoking this crazy-assed Chronic. It was kinda’ like a sudden inspiration or something — an epiphany — it’s hard to explain.

War of the masses, the outcome disastrous, many of the victim’s families saved the ashes…

Claire: That’s dark, heavy stuff, Ted. The raps are insane. It’s a little scary, to be honest.

Farmer Ted: Good. That’s the right mood. Now, pull up a chair next to me. You see these three screens?

Claire: Yeah.

Farmer Ted: Three screens, three line graphs, right?

Claire: Right.

Farmer Ted: Just looking at them, what do you notice? Don’t worry about what they’re graphs of just yet.

Claire: They all trend exactly the same way. Same downward curve. Same increments on the x and y axes, so I’m assuming they represent the same rate of some kind of decline.

Farmer Ted: That’s exactly right. And I could put up a dozen more that show the same trend.

Claire: Okay, so what do they mean?

Farmer Ted: These are forecasts, Claire. I’ve done dozens of them.

Claire: Forecasts, regarding what?

Farmer Ted: Various aspects of the Rebellion and Scene and of the Overground.

Claire: Go on.

Farmer Ted: Well, I was reading Foundation by Isaac Asimov, and one of the things it’s about is a man who’s taken a truly scientific approach to the study of history. His idea is that if you have enough economic, sociological, and other kinds of social-scientific information, you can predict the future, using statistical models, though there are two caveats.

Claire: Which are?

Farmer Ted: Well, for one thing, the predictions have to be for relatively large groups. You couldn’t predict a single person’s future, for example, but you could do a forecast for an entire city. For another, the predictions have to be somewhat far off. You couldn’t predict what’s going to happen next week, but you could forecast what’s going to happen in several years. It’s just a matter of how statistics work.

Claire: So you’re telling me you’ve done forecasts on the future of the Rebellion? That you can predict what’ll happen to us a few years from now?

Farmer Ted: It’s all a matter of interpretation. What these graphs show is stuff like stats on new recruits, successful and unsuccessful military ops, numbers and types of Overground contacts, overall wealth, technological development…that kind of thing.

Claire: And what? They’re all trending badly?

Farmer Ted: Yes, they all show decline to a baseline point, at exactly the same rate.

Claire: That’s freaky.

Farmer Ted: Freaky? It’s impossible.

Claire: I don’t get the thing about new recruits. You just said that we’ve been expanding, ‘cause of all the new kids we’ve been recruiting from the Refusenik Centers.

Farmer Ted: Those human resources are finite, Claire. They’ll run out.

Claire: And what about the Overground?

Farmer Ted: Same thing. Bad trends with respect to every variable. More censorship. More cops and surveillance. More political prisoners. More violence. More geopolitical and economic isolation. It’s the reason why I’m anxious for us to take advantage of my contacts Overground soon. My models show the police state growing to the point that the black and grey markets will be shut down; the Mob too. There’ll be no space to operate in any more.  

Claire: My god.

Farmer Ted: Yeah, so we’ll be at our weakest, when they’re at their strongest and their worst. It’ll mean the end of the Rebellion and of the Scene. It’ll mean that a lot of us will be dead, and those who aren’t will wish they were.

Claire: Ted, this is trippy.  

Farmer Ted: I know. The Geek in me wants to love it — fucking cool, right?! — but the human Ted is scared shitless.

Claire: No, no…I mean, yeah, it is scary, but that’s not what I was thinking of.

Farmer Ted: So what is it? Claire, we have to tell each other everything.

Claire: I know. It’s just that I know how you feel about these things.

Farmer Ted: What things?

Claire: It’s the Sight, Ted.

Farmer Ted: Oh.

Claire: I’ve been feeling something terrible coming for months now. It’s why you haven’t seen me all this time. I haven’t been out at all. I’ve had this awful sense of anticipation — that something big is going to happen — that we’re at some massive turning point, and I’ve been obsessed about it. Danny Boy tried to tell me that it was just a teen version of a mid-life crisis, but now? With what you’ve just shown me?  

Farmer Ted: You know I don’t believe in that stuff, Claire. You fucking rule, but you don’t have ESP. There’s no Eternal Teenager. No big, cosmic story that we just happen to be the stars of. There’s just a bunch of kids trying to live and a bunch of adults trying to stop them. That’s all.

Claire: I know how you feel and that’s why I hesitated for a minute. But you said we have to tell each other everything and I’m telling you. What you got out of statistics, weed, and Wu-Tang Clan, I got out of the Sight.

Farmer Ted: I don’t know.

Claire: Why does it matter how I got it, anyway? A fairy could have flown in my room and whispered it to me in my sleep. The fact is, you and I have come to the same conclusion, without ever confiding in each other.  

Farmer Ted:  Agreed. It’s significant, whatever the reason.

Claire: So, how deterministic are you about this, Ted?

Farmer Ted: What?

Claire: I’ve studied philosophy. I know the implications of what you’re describing. Do you think this future is unavoidable?

Farmer Ted: Absolutely not. Given the number of variables and how interconnected social phenomena are? Just changing one of them might make everything turn out completely differently.

Claire: Which is why you want us to work together.

Farmer Ted: Exactly! It’s not just that we’ll be more effective if we pool our resources — or that you’ll have more peace of mind, knowing all the moves I’m making, before I make ‘em — it’s that our joining forces is a big change — a total reconceptualizing of how we run this place — and that’s gotta’ affect the trends. Time really is like water — that’s not just science fiction — and the bigger the rock you throw in it, the bigger the ripples. So, I figure, since every trend is fucked, if you assume the status quo, and since we can’t be sure which variables are the key ones, the best thing to do is change as many of them as possible.

Claire: I’m in this with you, Ted. One hundred percent.

Farmer Ted: Whew. I thought this was going to be an argument.

Claire: Yes, but you didn’t know the card I was holding; that I’d already come to the same conclusion.

Farmer Ted: That’s right. Funny.

Claire: And this audio diary you were asking about? This tape recorder I’ve been talking into all night?

Farmer Ted: What of it?

Claire: I’m narrating an extended account of the Rebellion and Scene, from my personal perspective. I’m talking to as many people as I can. Collecting as many stories — as much history — as possible.

Farmer Ted: For what purpose? In case we don’t make it?

Claire: Or in case we do. The way I see it, it’ll either serve as a guide and an inspiration to our successors or as a final gesture of defiance to our conquerors.

Farmer Ted: I can see who the real master strategist is in this room and who’s the kid playing James Bond.

Claire: I like that I can still surprise you, Ted.

Farmer Ted: And I like being surprised. It doesn’t happen very often.

Claire: So, how do you want to do this?

Farmer Ted: However it is, it won’t be tonight. We are done, Ms. Standish. Officially through with Official Business. The offices will reopen Monday. You are hereby ordered to resume your birthday celebrations. I hear through the social grapevine that you’re off to the Land of Turquoise and Pink, a fine establishment.

Claire: Yes, I am. And I should return to Bobby. He’ll run off with one of your go-go dancers if leave him too long.

Farmer Ted: I seriously doubt that.

Claire: Thank you so much! I don’t know what to say. I’ve always felt a connection with you, Ted — knew that we had a certain understanding, between us — but now, I don’t know how to explain it, it feels like we’ve known each other forever.  

Farmer Ted: We have, Claire. We have.

Claire: Heh! Weirder things, right?

Farmer Ted: Happy Birthday, Claire.

Claire: I love you, Ted.  

Farmer Ted:  I love you too, Claire.

Claire: Hug?

Farmer Ted: Hug.